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| - 3. That's Right (You're Not from Texas)
The last couple of months I was in College Station, if I was drinking a
soda, it was Coke. Dr. Pepper became almost disgusting to me. I knew it
was just because I was homesick, and as soon as I visited with family
it would taste okay again. It's a good thing that I was homesick,
especially since I've transferred schools and won't be back at A&M.
It's made the transition a bit easier. I've been home now for a little
while, and I can say that I geniuinely enjoyed this Christmas more than
any other in a long time. I didn't get a ton of gifts, I didn't get
anything expensive. Hell, I didn't even get things I needed for the
dorm (can you believe I'll be living in a dorm!?). Bookshelves, small
tv, mini-fridge... these would've all been nice to have. And I really
need a watch. But even though I didn't get any of these things, the
gifts I did get were well thought out and given with a love that I'm
only now really learning to appreciate. This time at home has been
great.
But today I got a craving for Dr. Pepper. Not a little "hey, it would
be nice to have a DP" craving, but a full on, "must have one right this
second" kind of craving. So I went out and bought a 12 pack. And the
Dr. Pepper tasted good again. It was beyond that. It tasted great. I
can't figure out if I've just reached a balance, that I'm satisfied
after spending some time with my family, or if I'm about to get really
Texas-sick. I hope it's the former. These next few months are going to
be weird and hard enough in their own way without me having any regrets
regarding the decision I made. I still think it's the right decision -
to leave. It was a hard decision (especially considering you,
Jacob), but things are as they should be.
So right now I'm drinking a half Coke, half Dr. Pepper mix. Here's to
hoping I can gain that kind of balance in my real life. Cheers.
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| Think of me fondly
when we've said goodbye.
Remember me once in a while,
please promise me you'll try.
When you find that once again
you long to take your heart back and be free
If you ever find a moment,
spare a thought for me.
We never said our love was evergreen
or as unchanging as the sea,
but if you can still remember,
stop and think of me.
Think of all the things we've shared and seen.
Don't think about the way things might have been.
Think of me,
Think of me waking, silent and resigned.
Imagine me
Trying too hard to put you from my mind.
Recall those days, look back on all those times.
Think of the things we'll never do.
There will never be a day when I won't think of you!
Flowers fade,
The fruits of summer fade.
They have their seasons, so do we,
but please promise me that sometimes
you will think of me.
-Think of Me, Phantom of the Opera
(even though some people hate musicals, I think this is a wonderful song)
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| - 7. Mr. Jones
It's time to go home. I'm gonna miss you. You know who you are.
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| - 2. Landslide New entry every month or so? Eh, I guess.
So I just survived the worst Thanksgiving ever. On the outside it was fine, it was even fun. I got to make dinner with friends and go dancing. I put on my happy face and spent good times with friends. But on the inside something just collapsed. And instead of deal with things constructively like I should've, I just ran from them. I don't know that I've ever outright ran from anything before in my daily life, but this time I did. And the results were horrible. I hurt someone in the process even though that was not my intention, and I've made a big mess of things in the process. I'm human and I make mistakes, but the past few weeks several different mistakes have added up to a 95% probability that I'll be leaving College Station permanently. The problems aren't environmental, they're entirely internal, but they lead to external consequences that hurt more than just myself. So it's time to change something, and that's really the best I've got right now. I'm just exhausted... with everything. Can you take a vacation from life? | | |
| when life is most interesting I have the least amount of time to write. That makes my Xanga inherently boring. I apologize o all. | | |
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